October 29, 2008


My sister recently blogged (yes, we are a family of geeks) about how envious she was about my life and the choices I made. In her eyes, I have always fought for what I wanted, despite the hardships, the challenges and the stones that have been thrown on my way. She envies me for the love I found, the home that I’m trying to create in Manila.


(…) My older sister. Seven years older than me, almost eight. When I was still little I was so impressed by her. My parents trusted her completely and for good reasons. I thought she had the perfect relationship, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect friends and the perfect grades. All in all, the perfect life. But as all of us, she experienced setbacks. But funny enough, that just made me look up to her even more. Because she never gave up, always followed through with what she thought was right. She never listened to anyone but herself, not even to my parents. And they can be quite convincing and sometimes they can seem mean, even though I know they love us from the bottom of there heart and want to protect us.

I have always been jealous of her, she had all I ever wanted. And to be honest, she still does. I am the rebel of the family, or at least I used to be. I wanted to go out and party when I wasn't supposed to and I never managed to make a man stick to me for long enough... but my sister found her true love, her soulmate. When you see them together, you just know, this is how it is supposed to be. And I envy her so much, you can't imagine... on my way of finding something at least half as beautiful as what she has, I have gone over a few boyfriends, some of which I am not very proud of.

But I am not the romantic one of the family. It even seems like I am not the one that has family, house with garden and fence, written in her future. I am the career-oriented one. I travel around the world because that's what you do when you are in the hospitality business. I have crazy working hours, and I even do some overtime to impress the boss. I study like crazy, top of my class, because this job is what I want to do. I want to be a business woman. I want to be the general manager of the big hotels of this world. So I look up to my sister, and I envy her, because she has, what I gave up when I started my insanely-expensive hospitality management studies... a steady partner to love. A home. (…)


Ironically enough, I envy her for just the opposite. I gave up the ambitious career dreams I had for something as capricious as love. Don’t get me wrong, I have to regrets regarding my choices, even the wrong ones, as they made me who I am today and because ultimately it made me happy. Life is the sum of all your choices. We are shaped by the decisions we make.

But I look back sometimes and wonder how my life would have been. I see my little sister today, working in a glamorous hotel, meeting all those people I only hear about on TV and I’m jealous. She has all those doors opened in front of her. She can become who ever she wants to be. Life has so much in store for her. Not that mine hasn’t, but I set different priorities… and i got lucky that love didn't disappoint me.

But despite our differences and the distance between us, she and I are alike. We are driven do what we have to do to find happiness.Her post comes at a time in which I’m actually on the verge of change; trying to find my way back to my initial dreams of becoming a successful business woman. So all isn’t black or white. She’ll find her soulmate one day. And I'll stop wondering what if... Most importantly, no matter what, I’ll always be proud of her. She’s my little sister. 

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