Change

Change is inevitable. Or so they say. With all the changes in my life and the still ongoing adjustments of having moved to the other side of the globe, I am not sure I am ready for more changes. I’ve been running ever since I graduated high school. Mostly running away. I ran from law school, I ran from bad boyfriends, I ran from commitment. I left continents to avoid dealing with problems. 

But two years ago, I stopped. I took on the biggest challenge yet: I left against all common sense, against advise from close ones and despite all logic and moved to Manila for someone I knew for barely a few months. What seemed crazy to everyone else back then, made perfect sense to me. Deep inside, for the first time ever, I knew that this was completely right. I wasn’t running away, I had found what I was long searching for. Today, looking back, I realize how much I risked. Leaving friends, family and career behind, for an unsure future both emotionally and financially. Yet, I do not have any regrets, because the return on investment is priceless. I have found what us girls call The One and I am here building our future together. 

With all the craziness of getting used to Manila and feeling lost, I was grateful to find a job that creates a bridge between my French heritage and my new life in the Philippines. Was it the job I envisioned myself in? No. But it felt right then, uncomplicated and somehow familiar. I’ve been in it since the moment I decided that Manila was to become my new home. I have learned a lot, built a professional network and overall made very good friends. 

But change is inevitable. And my rational side knows it. It is time to move on. I have been using this job as a security blanket. I have built my life around D, his friends, his family… But at work, it’s my own little world. It’s the result of my own life I have managed to build here and it feels good. Except that I am stuck and frustrated. Professionally speaking. To make things worse (or better I suppose) providence found me a job opening this week that fits me like a glove. I went to the interview and it went great. And today I got an offer. 

So what do I do now? Do I move on, embrace yet another challenge, another new environment to get use to? Or do I keep myself from growing for the sake of security and convenience? My brain knows what to do. But why is a part of me (somewhere around the stomach area it seems) anxious, unsure and confused? Change is good. Change is necessary. Change is inevitable. Om!