October 27, 2008


Change is inevitable. Or so they say. With all the changes in my life and the still ongoing adjustments of having moved to the other side of the globe, I am not sure I am ready for more changes. I’ve been running ever since I graduated high school. Mostly running away. I ran from law school, I ran from bad boyfriends, I ran from commitment. I left continents to avoid dealing with problems. 

But two years ago, I stopped. I took on the biggest challenge yet: I left against all common sense, against advise from close ones and despite all logic and moved to Manila for someone I knew for barely a few months. What seemed crazy to everyone else back then, made perfect sense to me. Deep inside, for the first time ever, I knew that this was completely right. I wasn’t running away, I had found what I was long searching for. Today, looking back, I realize how much I risked. Leaving friends, family and career behind, for an unsure future both emotionally and financially. Yet, I do not have any regrets, because the return on investment is priceless. I have found what us girls call The One and I am here building our future together. 

With all the craziness of getting used to Manila and feeling lost, I was grateful to find a job that creates a bridge between my French heritage and my new life in the Philippines. Was it the job I envisioned myself in? No. But it felt right then, uncomplicated and somehow familiar. I’ve been in it since the moment I decided that Manila was to become my new home. I have learned a lot, built a professional network and overall made very good friends. 

But change is inevitable. And my rational side knows it. It is time to move on. I have been using this job as a security blanket. I have built my life around D, his friends, his family… But at work, it’s my own little world. It’s the result of my own life I have managed to build here and it feels good. Except that I am stuck and frustrated. Professionally speaking. To make things worse (or better I suppose) providence found me a job opening this week that fits me like a glove. I went to the interview and it went great. And today I got an offer. 

So what do I do now? Do I move on, embrace yet another challenge, another new environment to get use to? Or do I keep myself from growing for the sake of security and convenience? My brain knows what to do. But why is a part of me (somewhere around the stomach area it seems) anxious, unsure and confused? Change is good. Change is necessary. Change is inevitable. Om!

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